Today is my granfather's birthday. It's wierd, because instead of calling him all the way in Florida, my dad and I drove down to St. Raymonds Cemetary and stood in front of his little plot of land and said "Happy Birthday, Patoo".

This was the first time in months that me and my dad went somewhere, just the two of us. I actually try to avoid going places with him, mostly because its extremely awkward. But today I saw another side of my usually introverted father.

It only lasted for the ten minutes we were at the cemetary, but it was amazing. I've never seen my dad so human as when he took in a breath and said "Happy Birthday, Dad. I wore my Yankee jacket, just for you." I swear, he was on the verge of tears. He actually admitted that he cries over Patoo when he pulls up into the cemetary.

We had a small one-way conversation with my grandfather. I'd never suspect my dad was the type to talk to a tombstone. It sounds wierd, but theres a lot I found out about my dad in those few minutes. Even in the car, he admitted that he was too head-strong about certain things.

I feel really bad for all the bad shit I wrote about him on here. I mean, I know he can be really, really unreasonable, but he doesn't mean half of it. A lot of what he does is because he's terrified to open up, or admit he's wrong. I used to think he was a jerk for not trying to make up with his siblings and mother, but he told me himself that he did it because he saw a poison in his family. Everyone is jealous, angry, and there needs to be some drama. He said that early on, he knew he had to keep his children as far from that poison as possible. He didn't forbid us to see his siblings, he just didn't say "Oh boy, you kids are going to visit Aunt Peggy every year!".

I'm seeing my dad in a whole new light. He's really not the horrible, Grinch-like monster I make him out to be. Sure, we have problems. Sure, there isn't a lot we have in common. Sure, he has to be right all the time. But honestly, underneath the layers of solid rock, there's a big softie who's afraid to come out.

So, I guess I should say thanks to Patoo. Because of him, I think the softie in my dad has just gotten a little closer to the surface.